Monday, August 30, 2010

Balancing "me" and "us"

So you are going to laugh at me when I tell you what made me start thinking about the topic I am about to write about. I was thinking about my blog design, and how I really like the graphic I use for my blog title, but I love when I see really well done things with pictures and such. And I always want them. Which got me thinking, what picture of my flyboy and me would I put as the header? But then I thought "Wait, this is my blog, why would I put him at the top??" Which got me thinking about defining me and defining us.


In high school, I had a long term boyfriend. I spent a lot of time with him, and enjoyed my time with him. I also spent time with my friends. I had one friend who thought it was ridiculous that I would go see him after school some days (we went to different schools) because she was only able to see her boyfriend once a week and was content with that. I decided then, at the age of 16, that I was ok with not being like all my friends. I wanted to spend time with my boyfriend, and that didn’t mean I didn’t have my own identity.

Clearly, spending too much time with C is not an option. But I find myself defining a lot of who I am based on who he is. I refer to myself as an Air Force Girlfriend, I take pride in what he does and tell people about it, I am about to uproot my life and move to where he is going to live. My blog title includes him. My Facebook profile picture always includes him. I tell people “My boyfriend’s in the Air Force”, as if that explains my entire life (it explains a lot lol). I am writing an entire blog post about it lol.

There are also plenty of women in the military SO community that go out of their way to NOT let what their SO does define them. They are anti-car sticker, anti-military SO shirts, etc. You get my point. I even heard one girl say “I pride myself on knowing as little about the military as possible.” She is married to a service member. I hear others say “If my husband gets a sticker that says ‘I love my accountant’, I will get one that says ‘I love my Airman’.”

I think I have re-decided what I decided back in high school…..I am ok with being different. I am ok with defining a piece of myself as C’s girlfriend. That is one of the titles I am most proud of. I have spent almost 3 years proudly wearing the title of Air Force Girlfriend, and I think, especially with the military, that embracing that title instead of reluctantly wearing it is important.

I am Abby. That will never change. But who I am is dependent on those around me, and having rich relationships in my life, like the love I have with my flyboy, bring a lot of happiness to my life. Regardless of what anyone else thinks.


p.s. whether he was in the military or not, I think it's rude and I would be offended if my SO purposely tried to show little interest in my job and the "company" I work for. But hey, that's just me. I am ok with being different, remember? :P

Friday, August 27, 2010

Feel Good Friday!

Pause for a moment while I go find the graphic and link....




1. I sold my car!! I am going to miss my little Ruby, but she is going to a Marine fresh out of boot camp, and I have known him for a while. He is a really good kid. And my Ruby is a great car :)

2. I am loving my new car :) Dory and I have been together for a week, happy anniversary Dory!



3. My runs are going SO MUCH BETTER since I decided to go back to the basics of C25K and take walking breaks. On Monday, I did 9 minute runs with 2-4 minute breaks between, running for 27 minutes. Last night, I did 10 minute runs with 4 minute breaks in between, running for 30 minutes! It doesn't sound all that impressive, but I was really fading. Running a mile was getting tough again! I am excited for our next 5k, most likely on September 11.

4. Sookie Stackhouse novels. OMG. SO GOOD. Better than I ever expected. I am addicted. I have read more this week than I have in months. I have finished 3 of the books this week, and am on to my fourth.

5. My boy will be here in ONE WEEK!!!!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

My Problem with Cover Letters

So I have a problem with cover letters. One, I was forced to write so many during college, for no apparent reason, that instead of building good cover letter skills, I built a hatred for them.

And two......they are so contrived! There are 29123435 websites about how to write a cover letter.....exactly how many paragraphs, exactly what goes in each paragraph (in your own words, of course!), what paper it needs to printed on, words to say and not to say. WHY you applied for the job......hello I need the money! And then, inevitably, you get judged on it. Even I judge. And I hate cover letters!

The reason this is in the forefront of my mind is because I am beginning to look for jobs in Texas. I really think I owe it to myself and a potential employer to be totally upfront in my cover letter, explaining that I will be moving to the area around the first of the year, but I am a the best candidate for the job and they should wait for me (my parents always told me, if you don't toot your own horn, who else will?). However, explaining my situation really doesn't fit well into the contrived cover letter, and even I, hater of cover letters, don't want to be written off for a bad cover letter!

Who else despises cover letters???

THURSDAY Fill In (What can I say, I'm a rebel)


Thanks to Wife of A Sailor!


1.What secret indulgence do you act on while your spouse is away? (from Devil Dog Darling)
        Well, he is always away haha. BUT, when we are together, he finds it painful to watch trashy reality tv. So I think that will be my indulgence when we live together.

2.If you were a spice, what would you be? (from New Girl On Post)
        Hmm. Cinnamon.

3.Where do you go for support when your significant other is deployed? (from Texas Meets Washington)
       To my favorite message boards. C hasn't been deployed yet, but when he is, that's where I will be going lol.

4.What is the oldest thing you own? (from A Troop’s Girl)
        I have my Grandma's engagement ring. It's probably circa....1960s, since it was an anniversary replacement ring lol. That isn't very old though. I have pictures that are about that old too. OH I know.....my great-grandma's Blessed Mother statue. That has to be about 90 years old.

5.How did you vision your future pre-military? (from Daddy’s Duty)
         I don't even know. I can't even see it anymore lol.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Day 01 – Introduce yourself

As if I haven't introduced myself enough already. There are pages and posts dedicated to introducing myself. However, the 30 day list calls for it, so I must do it :)

I am Abby. I have many nicknames......Abz is pretty common. Ab is less common but I hear it. Abby in itself is a nickname, since my name is Abigail. One of my closest friends calls me Loo Loo, and another calls me Loseer (yes, with two E's). My dad calls me Dabba, as do my brother and my mom sometimes. That came from Yabba-Dabba-Doo.....we were a Flintstone's family :) He started calling me Abba Dabba Doo, and I get all variations.....Abba Dabba, Dabba, Dabba Doobio, Abba Dabba Doobio, Shmabba......what can I say, my dad is an interesting guy :)

I was born into a very Catholic family. Not in an extreme born again sort of way, just religious. Both sides of the family are Catholic as far back as we can tell. I went to private, Catholic schools my whole lif. This isn't uncommon in Baltimore, and my parents decided while my brother and I were in utero that they would sacrifice what they needed to to ensure we got a good education. I have to say, I can't ever thank them enough for that....the education and experiences I had through school are priceless.

I resist change whenever possible. My grandma died right before I graduated from middle school, and I think that is when my aversion to change reared its ugly head. But really, I have always hated change and goodbyes. Why I date a man in the military, who knows? :P When I was a little girl, my brother and I each got to spend a week with Grandma over the summer....she lived about 2 hours away from us, and visited us all the time. But these weeks were our special time. One year in particular, I got so homesick (even though Grandma was my best friend) that Mom came down a few days early to hang out with us. A few days later, when we left to go back home, I cried and cried since I didn't want to leave Grandma.

What this taught me about myself is that I epitomize the Charles Schulz quote “Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos.”

I think this is enough of MORE of an introduction to me :)

Monday, August 23, 2010

Snagging things from all over!

Looks like I keep snagging ideas from fellow blogging friends :) My friend Jenny posted this in her blog, and I am thinking I am going to try it! I am probably not going to do 30 days straight, more likely I will do it over a couple months. But like Jenny said, it helps me have ideas on things to blog about :)

30 Great Details

Day 01 – Introduce yourself
Day 02 – Your first love, in great detail
Day 03 – Your parents, in great detail
Day 04 – What you ate today, in great detail
Day 05 – Your definition of love, in great detail
Day 06 – Your day, in great detail
Day 07 – Your best friend, in great detail
Day 08 – A moment, in great detail
Day 09 – Your beliefs, in great detail
Day 10 – What you wore today, in great detail
Day 11 – Your siblings, in great detail
Day 12 – What’s in your bag, in great detail
Day 13 – This week, in great detail
Day 14 – What you wore today, in great detail
Day 15 – Your dreams, in great detail
Day 16 – Your first kiss, in great detail
Day 17 – Your favorite memory, in great detail
Day 18 – Your favorite birthday, in great detail
Day 19 – Something you regret, in great detail
Day 20 – This month, in great detail
Day 21 – Another moment, in great detail
Day 22 – Something that upsets you, in great detail
Day 23 – Something that makes you feel better, in great detail
Day 24 – Something that makes you cry, in great detail
Day 25 – A first, in great detail
Day 26 – Your fears, in great detail
Day 27 – Your favorite place, in great detail
Day 28 – Something that you miss, in great detail
Day 29 – Your aspirations, in great detail
Day 30 – One last moment, in great detail

Friday, August 20, 2010

Alphabet Friday

My friend Carla posted this today in her personal blog, and I decided for my Feel Good Friday, I would take a little different spin. I am going to post something I am thankful for from each letter of the alphabet.

I will be back later in the day as I think of things! If you have any ideas, help me out :)

A :: Apples......I love a good fresh apple! I need to go get some from the grocery store.
B :: Bananas......where there are apples, you gotta have bananas right? I LOVE bananas too!
C :: C! my flyboy :)
D :: Daddio!
E :: Es-cop-ay!!!
F :: Freckles......my puppy girl. She is getting up there in years, but she still acts happy to see me and barks for treats :)
G ::
H ::
I :: Income! I am so thankful to have a job, even if i don't always love it.
J :: Justice....new information has come out in the case of Yeardley Love's death, and I went to high school with her. Hopefully, justice will prevail and her murderer will rot in jail for the rest of his life.
K ::
L :: Long distance relationships......an odd thing to be thankful for, but without it, I would not have my lovey!
M :: Mom!
N :: Notre Dame 06 <3
O ::
P :: PLANES! They provide a job for my boy and my brother, AND take me to and from my love, making this LDR possible.
Q :: Quilts......I really want to make a quilt like Bella's mom did in Eclipse, made of all their old road trip tshirts. Plus, I love cuddling in a big quilt on my big blue chair.
R ::
S :: Sookie Stackhouse novels, which I am finding out are NOT really the same thing as True Blood!
T :: True Blood
U :: Umbrellas.....even though I never carry one!!
V :: Vera Bradley
W :: WOL and my WOL girls, without whom I would be lost :)
X :: Xena Warrior Princess.....that girl is badass.
Y ::
Z :: Zoos! I miss the zoo, maybe in the fall when it cools off I will go check out the zoo!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Fill In! (whatever day of the week it is)



Thanks to Wife of a Sailor for the questions each week!

1.If you could be a fugitive from the law for whatever reason, what would your crime be? (from It’s a Hooah Life)
         Hmmm. I really like not being a fugitive haha. BUT, I guess I would steal something REALLY expensive......or money, cause it's easier to conceal :P Or perhaps I will go the noble route, and be framed for a crime I didn't commit :)


2.How long do you think you will be a military family? (from Julie the Army Wife)
         Forever, fingers crossed :) C is going to make a career out of the Air Force, and I think he is someone who could really excel and make it more than just a 20 year career. I really like a lot of things about the military, and it's a life that so far I am willing to embrace.

3.What’s your favorite recipe? (from Keep Calm and Soldier On)
         My chili recipe is my faaaaave. Perhaps I will make it and blog about it :)

4.What would you want your last five words to be when you leave this life? (from My Goal is Simple)
          I've loved and I've laughed.

5.Where do you hope to retire? (from Pennies from Heaven)
          My goal is to come back to Baltimore, after 20+ years away. However, I also know that after all that time, I may not even feel like it is home anymore. C really wants to retire to Colorado.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Failure.

I am a failure at updating my blog. I like to update when I have something specific to say, and not just random stuff jumbled together. But work has been busy, and life has been busy, so I haven't HAD anything to write about specifically.

On an exciting note, I am buying a car! I was debating for a while between the Honda CR-V and the Ford Escape, but the Escape really is my first love. I have wanted that car for so long, so there is no point denying that just to buy a Honda, which is historically more reliable and has better resale value.

So, it's down to two cars.....I am waiting to hear back about one. The other is a great price, new, and black. My only hesitation is I prefer the gray slightly over the black.

Here they are....


I'll be sure to let you all know what I decide!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Money Between Friends

Money between friends. Such a fun topic.


Recently, I went away with some good friends for a weekend. Coincidentally, another good friend of mine was spending a night in the same area with her boyfriend (close friend of mine, but not of the friends I was vacationing with). They had plans to stay with someone else, but there was a little too much alcohol drinking that night, and they really just had to crash with us. Because of more people staying with us, the hotel booking friend split the cost more ways. However, my crasher friends didn’t offer us any money. Since they were MY friends, I felt responsible for it.

End result? I paid DOUBLE what everyone else paid to cover their shares.

This made me start thinking about money among friends. I have never been one to skimp out on friends or not be willing to cover someone’s share. Two of my closest friends, Jimmy and Shannon, frequently lend or borrow money to/from me (a few dollars here and there) when we are out. Usually, I make a point to pay it back. However, over the years, Shannon and I have lent each other so much money to cover different things, I think we can call it even.

But then that makes me think more……does SHE think we are even?? Does she feel like I am a mooch?

Lending money to friends can be really uncomfortable. It’s tough for me to ask a friend “Oh hey, remember when I lent you $5? Well you never paid me back.” I know a lot of people choose NOT to lend money or have monetary transactions with friends for that reason.

I also have a tendency to ALWAYS forget when I owe someone money. Convenient, isn’t it? Haha just kidding. I don’t do it on purpose, so I make a point now of saying to anyone who spots me money “PLEASE remind me I owe you this…..I always forget, and it’s not cause I don’t plan to pay you back.”

When I lend someone money, it’s slightly less uncomfortable to remind them about it. However, with the case of this weekend, I was too uncomfortable to ask my friend for the money so I paid it myself. That ended up being $80 more than I owed for my share of the trip. That’s a lot of money to me. And it’s not a situation where I chose to lend money so I have to deal with the fact that I didn’t get it back…..I just don’t want to ask for it.

I am in no way trying to make a dig at my friend, or stealthily try to get the money from her. There is a reason I didn’t name her. However, going into the weekend, she knew what the cost of staying with us would be, and she chose to find someone else to stay with. I felt I was doing the smart thing by bringing her back with me, since I was much much much more sober than they were and staying with her other friend would have required filling 2 more hours til she got off work. However, I feel slightly insulted that she chose not to offer any money, knowing that had she planned to stay with us, she would have owed money. And I don’t like that my frustration with her right now has to do with MONEY.

Moral of the story? Be upfront. PAY upfront. We all go through tough financial times, so if you are having one of those tough times, let people know. Be honest. Don’t mooch. Offer money to friends for services/food/lodging/etc., so they don’t have to ask. Only lend what you are willing to give away, knowing it may never come back. And don’t be like me…..don’t dig yourself into a financial hole just to avoid making things uncomfortable with friends.

Friday, August 6, 2010

It's a Hybrid Week


1. I am going to the beach in 6 hours!!! I am so exciteddddd.

2. Now that it’s August, that puts C and me one month closer to being together!

3. I did a yoga class with Dani this week, and ever since I have been itching to get back!

4. In 9 days, I will be relaxing on my first real day off in a couple weeks, since move-in will be over!!

5. My flyboy found out this week that he gets a 4 day weekend for Labor Day! So he will be making a return to Maryland that weekend :)



Thanks to Wife of a Sailor for the questions!

1. What is something you wished you’d learned to do earlier in life?
       Run. I mean, I knew HOW, but running for exercise. I wish it was more engrained in me to just go for a run, instead of regularly having to convince myself.

2. What is your biggest pet peeve with the military?
       The complete inability I have to plan my life or move or anything. Which directly relates to their complete inability to make a schedule.

3. What tourist attraction near you have you never seen?
       I’ve never been inside the Capitol. I have been to DC a ton of times, but I usually either go with a school trip or something, or go with someone who has never been. Which means, you don’t waste time taking tours…..you see all the monuments and the big things DC is known for.

4. What are you avoiding doing right now?
     Working and looking at the clock. Only 6 hrs and 1 minute til I leave for OC!

5. Wine, beer or liquor?
      Toughy…..depends on my mood. I am SLOWLY acquiring a taste for beer, and sometimes really enjoy a Bud Light Lime. I love White Zinfandel and can drink…..a LOT of it haha. And I enjoy mixed drinks. So I guess, if I HAD to choose, I would go with wine.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

My flyboy and me

ME

I am not really adventurous, but sometimes I get ridiculous ideas, like soberly jumping into the Atlantic Ocean at night, fully clothed. I can’t dance to save my life. If I could have one super power, it would be apparition….from Harry Potter, duh.

I love Christmas more than any other time of the year. The beach at night is my favorite place in the world. The Lion King still makes me cry. I miss my Grandma every single day. I love eating pretzels and coke, especially dipping the pretzel into the coke to make it soggy and full of coke.

I wore a uniform for 12 years and loved it. I love surprises. I think I just decided my favorite flower is a Calla Lily and I despise carnations with a passion. Most random pieces of information that I can quote come from a TV show. I have a tendency to be difficult and disagreeable and I should have a sign that says so. I am a firm believer that if you never try, you'll never know. Therefore, you should always try.

Yes, my brother and my boyfriend have the same name and they are both in the Air Force far away from me. I love really big mugs to sip my raspberry tea from, but am usually too lazy to make raspberry tea. I LOVE Lipton Diet Green Tea with Citrus. I have no real idea what I want to do with my life. I LOVE fresh cool sheets, but I hate changing the sheets

One word- IKEA. Two words- True Blood.

HIM

He likes sweet tea. He is a total sci-fi nerd. He is super particular about his Netflix queue and doesn’t appreciate when I threaten to mess with it. He loves the libraries in Baltimore County because they have a full assortment of graphic novels. He can read in the car….we road tripped for 8 hours, and he read the ENTIRE time and did not get an ounce of motion sickness.

He could eat like a horse, but he really values his health. He jumps into new activities with gusto, like mountain biking and rock climbing. Despite his active lifestyle, he can be found sitting on the sofa for HOURS and DAYS playing on his Xbox or PS3 when a new game comes out.

He doesn’t need me to dress him. He dresses well all on his own, and can be pretty particular about new clothes. Just about all of the boxers he owns now, I have bought for him. He rocks a flight suit.

He is very punctual. He hates when people are late. He can cook really well, but can also appreciate a quesadilla from Taco Bell. He doesn’t think there is a difference between Pepsi and Coke, and he makes fun of me when I ask at a restaurant. He somehow always finds the yummiest tasting Rums. He always makes my sandwiches for me because he knows I hate the site of lunch meat, even though I like eating it.

He believed me when I told him I found half of a dead deer behind the pool. He plans Skype dates with me. He hates popcorn, but gets elated over the praline nuts he found in the grocery store.

US

We love eating out. It doesn’t have to be fancy; MY flyboy likes to take me on Waffle House dates. We go on Taco Bell dates long distance, and go through the drive thru at the same time on the phone. We also love lying around, watching TV and playing on our computers. We both love being together and with other people, but we also require a certain amount of alone and down time.

We have completely different Netflix queues. When we eventually live in the same house, we might still have two different Netflix accounts. He can’t believe I watch trashy reality television, and I can’t believe he enjoys Southpark.

We love family. We love spending time in Indiana with his family, and we love spending time in Maryland with my family. He envies my roots sometimes, and I envy his amenability to change sometimes.

We spend absurd amounts of hours in cars. We seem to road trip entirely too much. We have done long road trips, like from Indy to Pensacola and from Pensacola to Corpus Christi, as well as short trips from Baltimore to Dover and New York City. I think we are sometimes most comfortable in the car.

We really met on the beach. Technically, we met in Eric’s backyard, but we finally talked and fell in like on the beach at night. Ironically, in the last 3 years, we haven’t managed to get back to the ocean at night. But meeting him there is one of the reasons why I love the beach at night.

He pushes my buttons, and he pushes my limits. I have tried things that I may never have tried without him, like crazy water tubing positions and Greek food. I definitely push his buttons :-) Sometimes on purpose.

And we love, enough to get us through 3 years spent apart, with a few short trips thrown in.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

30 Day Challenge?

So, when Jamie and Ashley talked about doing their 30 Day Challenge, I didn't even think about joining in. I don't enjoy working out, and I don't strive to do it every day. I am content with working out a couple days a week, and sometimes less than that haha.

However.....a challenge is a good thing. If I didn't challenge myself, what would I ever accomplish?? I would never have started running, or developed an interest in any exercise.

So, it's a bit premature to jump on the 30 Day Challenge bandwagon, BUT......I am on the 3 day challenge!! Haha.

On Sunday evening, I decided to head to my parents and pull out my bike, which has been buried in the garage for probably 10 years. It is an adult sized mountain bike, though, so I hoped with some air in the tires, it would be good as new. My mom and I both pumped up the tires in our bikes and took off. It was weird to ride a bike again, after a long while of not riding one. They always say "It's just like riding a bike," and sure, I didn't forget HOW to. But biking requires a certain amount of balance combined with how fast you are biking. When you haven't done it in a long time, it's a little unnerving.

We didn't bike far on Sunday, about 1.5 miles, and then I biked about 2.3 yesterday. Not huge distances for biking, but biking near my apartment includes a lot of hills. And it still counts as working out!!

Then, today, I took a yoga class with my friend Dani. I hadn't done a yoga CLASS before, just random dvds and such. I really enjoyed it, and I think it is something I could definitely enjoy doing MORE. I got the intro rate, 2 classes for $10, but after those 2 classes, it gets more expensive. Dani and I are going to go again next week, and I am going to try and convince my mom to come with, since she has always talked about doing yoga.

So, tomorrow throws a wrench in the works.....I have a hair appointment RIGHT after work, and I am not going to get my hair done, just to go running and sweat it up! So tomorrow, I think I am going to get up early and either bike or run. Maybe I'll go for a short run, since my dad and I are already planning to run on Thursday evening.


SO I guess this is my TENTATIVE joining of the 30 Day Challenge????